Tis the Season of “Giving”

As many a commercial tells us this time of year, “Tis the season of giving.”  While those advertisers want us to think Christmas is about generosity, their idea of “giving” is for us to go out and buy something.

While many of us are still digesting our Thanksgiving turkey, Black Friday will begin in the wee hours of the morning.  The day was so named because it the time of year that the cash flow statements of the big department stores finally turn profitable as they move into “the black.”  That’s what Black Friday is really about, returning big retailers to profitability.

Small retail stores didn’t want to be left behind.  Small Business Saturday was created to encourage you to spend money at the little retail shops in your neighborhood.  Of course, with all this “giving” going on, the giant online retailers wanted a piece of the action too.  They cleverly came up with Cyber Monday.  It’s the day we’ll be barraged by email, text, and social media messages telling us of all the great deals that are available if we spend money online. 

A decade ago, some clever folks in the charitable world wanted to remind people that shopping should not be the center of the season of giving.  Giving Tuesday was created as a way to encourage us to give to our favorite charity after we spent the weekend shopping.

In Door County, I was the first advocate for Giving Tuesday.  I wrote several columns about the idea.  The Door County Community Foundation ran a Giving Tuesday social media campaign featuring donors and the charities they support.  Over the years, however, my enthusiasm for Giving Tuesday has waned.  Perhaps I’m becoming a grumpy old man, but the entire experience of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and even Giving Tuesday seems to be increasingly removed from spirit of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the entire holiday season.

For some, this time of year is rooted in Christ’s teachings on love and compassion.  For others, a secular spirit of kindness and sharing is pervasive.  Whether we are deeply religious or committedly secular, in our country there is almost a universal consensus that this season is about generosity.  Thanksgiving is a reminder that all of us have benefited from other people’s generosity.  For that we should be grateful and give thanks.  Christmas is our opportunity to then “pay it forward” as we share of our own blessings and are generous with others. 

From Black Friday to Small Business Saturday to Cyber Monday and even to Giving Tuesday, it feels like the spirit of generosity has been replaced by a big marketing campaign.

Now I’ll admit that I’m a complete hypocrite on this issue.  Over those few days my wife and I will spend some money at the mall down the highway, we’ll walk along the shops in downtown Sturgeon Bay, we may buy a few things online, and indeed, we’ll support a few Giving Tuesday campaigns.  We aren’t immune from the powerful pull of today’s marketing messages.

Yet I cannot help but think back to what my father taught me about generosity.  He told me to be generous with my friendship, to greet everyone with a full heart and an open hand.  Dad wanted me to be generous with my time, to be willing to pause and listen to the stories that are on people’s hearts.  He taught me to be generous with my labor, to use whatever skills I may have and volunteer them to those in need.  Most of all, my father wanted me to be generous with my love, to never be afraid to be the one who loves the most.

Now I work for the Door County Community Foundation.  It’s my job to encourage you to make charitable contributions for the betterment of our community.  Those donations help our neighbors who are struggling and to maintain Door County’s quality of life.  I also fully understand that spending money, particularly at our local shops, generates the wealth that makes charitable giving possible in our community.  Yet I cannot help but think that my father’s definition of generosity is the best distillation of what this time of year should be about. 

Tis the season of giving.  Imagine how wonderful it would be if what we gave most this Christmas was our friendship, our time, our labor, and our love.  Even if there were fewer presents under the tree, I suspect that ours would be a very Merry Christmas indeed.

This column by Bret Bicoy originally appeared in the Peninsula Pulse on December 2, 2022.